Hello,
first let me introduce me self since I am a newcomer. My name is Gockay Levinow, and I am reading the Zen Habits blog regularly. It almost changed my life. Many points of view that I have accepted as life-reality come from the thoughts of the author of this awesome blog. Thanks for that!
I have had relationship which lasted almost 3 years. Everything was perfect, everything was blooming and we were flooded with love. My girlfriend is studying in another city, but that was not a problem for 2 years now. Some day ago I woke up, and felt differently. I still love the same girl, but I felt somehow sad. Hurt. I called her and told her that I might go and see her the next day. She denied it. Just like that. She changed her mind. She broke up with me in 5 days. Just like that...puuffff!! No more love :(
I was very hurt. Then I was meditating, thinking and reasking the very same questions a lostee asks when gets his love gone..where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve this. Then, I read a book "The power of Now", which encouraged me to live the NOW. Now everything comes back to normal, only I have some "blackouts" from past memories. We have had so many great moments, but now they are gone. And memories hurt. The future is not scary for me. The now is great. The PAST hurts. That is the only thing that left as pain in my head, heart and soul.
Not sure why I am telling this here. Not sure weather I am asking for an advice or just sharing my case. Every reply is most welcomed.
thanks,
Gockay
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Well man I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichÈs. But what I will say is this?
[chuckling] It's not the end of the world.
[chuckling] It's not the end of the world.
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Hey man. I was with one girl for over 5 years. When we broke up, I felt like an empty shell for a good month or so. I never wanted to be with another girl again. Slowly I began to get back into the swing of things, and after a year of purposely staying singe I was ready to begin a new and fresh relationship without bringing any emotional baggage along with me. And the next girl I met was wonderful. Even more so in many ways than the first. I am now grateful that I did not marry the first girl. I have not spoke with her for over two years!
Then after 1.5 years, the second girl and I broke up. It wasn't so devastating like the first time, but it was not a happy time either. But I knew that there could be someone even better out there for me. We are still very good friends.
And then I met another girl. She is amazing too. And we have not been together long, but already I can appreciate that I have the opportunity to be with her.
The bottom line is that it hurts. I know your pain. But it will get better, if you let it. Possibly much better.
Then after 1.5 years, the second girl and I broke up. It wasn't so devastating like the first time, but it was not a happy time either. But I knew that there could be someone even better out there for me. We are still very good friends.
And then I met another girl. She is amazing too. And we have not been together long, but already I can appreciate that I have the opportunity to be with her.
The bottom line is that it hurts. I know your pain. But it will get better, if you let it. Possibly much better.
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We are all part of our past, but it shouldn't drag us down. It should be something we build on.
A little insight about the past -- it's over. Living in the past won't take you anywhere you need to go.
Appreciate what you had, live in the happy moments of today, and plan and work towards a great tomorrow.
Clair
A little insight about the past -- it's over. Living in the past won't take you anywhere you need to go.
Appreciate what you had, live in the happy moments of today, and plan and work towards a great tomorrow.
Clair
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