Help with anxiety disorder

Hi my friend..

One of the lessons i teach is that life is always going to be tough...its one challenge after another....its how we react to those challenges that dictates how we live our life...and you sure are having an extra tough time at the moment!! Dont hide from decisions that have to be made...they wont go away until you tackle them....

One of the first steps to getting back on the right track is to identitfy the core areas that are causing you problems..you've already done this.. depression, family tension and finances...
These obstacles (and they are obstacles because you can overcome them) are grinding you down to the point where you just want hide away...everything is just too much trouble and effort.

Now you know the problems, tackle them one by one.Dont try to hit them all head on at once...they'll just knock you down. I feel that the depression is partially triggered by the family tensions (you feel trapped) and by the financial situation ( you're working but just to pay off debts). The family tension is partially caused by finances as well because you dont have fuinds to move out. So i'd tackle the finances first. I would get rid of that new car. You said yourself that you dont really need it. With the funds from the car, try and reduce some debt..dont go out and blow it on shopping!!
When some of the debt has gone, try contacting the bank/credit card company and see if you can lower your monthly repayments...if they can see youre trying to repay the debt they may help.

Then when you've freed up some funds you might be able to move out to a place of youre own and give yourself some valuable personal space...then the skys the limit!!!

I hope some of this helps...keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. If you need more help, even just to talk just post...kind regards..

Other than the grammar and typos, your post could have been written by me. I, too, have grown up in an extremely negative environment (the coping mechanisms, in this case, are mostly restrained to yelling at each other). I'm extremely hopeful about moving out very soon (and happily have none of the debt you mention), but in the meantime, every day spent here is torture, both because of them and because I could be out there, living my own life.

Besides depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder, I know how it is with the anxiety, although mine more takes the shape of panic disorder. Do you ever have panic attacks?

Our psychological conditions are probably disparate, since you're on medication and have therapy, while I've never had access to either (other than the counsel of my friends).

Sounds like your debt, like my distance from town and lack of a job, is a big thing holding you back. What's your timeline for eliminating it? How soon do you hope to be free of it?

To bring it all around, I get the impression that you have several areas where you need to gather strength:
1. Financial. Eliminate your debt and save up a cushion that will help you move out.
2. Habitual. You've apparently been taught to relieve suffering by buying. You need to do all you can (Google can help) to eliminate this and replace it with good habits that will help you out in the world.
3. Emotional. This is a gigantic kettle of fish and I can't give you any one piece of advice that will fix it all. One thing that comes to mind is to take the VIA Signature Strengths Test. It's very long, but eventually outputs a list of your 24 strengths and weaknesses. You can feel good about the strengths and pinpoint the weaknesses for improvement! It's like real-world stat-levelling!

There's one thing true for myself, and maybe it's true in your case, too: When you are happy, your anxiety will lessen. I know for a fact that when I'm content, my OCD isn't as severe, whereas when I'm in pain or terrified (as during a panic attack), it takes over. So remember that there's hope.

Edit: I want to echo what oceanwindsong posted while I was writing my post: You're already making your way down the path if you've identified these problems. Awareness is the first step, after all. And like she said, keep us posted.

Whats wrong with my grammar/typos..........and the she is a he!!!

Dont worry i'm not offended...just intrigued and amused!!

'oceanwindsong' sounded really girly, so I assumed.

Not saying everybody here has to exercise perfect grammar/keyboard control, but it was the most obvious thing I noticed that separated us. Considering our two cases sound almost eerily similar, I latched onto that.

I'm impressed!!.....stereotypical and perfect all in one....

Other than the grammar and typos, your post could have been written by me. I, too, have grown up in an extremely negative environment (the coping mechanisms, in this case, are mostly restrained to yelling at each other). I'm extremely hopeful about moving out very soon (and happily have none of the debt you mention), but in the meantime, every day spent here is torture, both because of them and because I could be out there, living my own life.

Besides depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder, I know how it is with the anxiety, although mine more takes the shape of panic disorder. Do you ever have panic attacks?

Our psychological conditions are probably disparate, since you're on medication and have therapy, while I've never had access to either (other than the counsel of my friends).

Sounds like your debt, like my distance from town and lack of a job, is a big thing holding you back. What's your timeline for eliminating it? How soon do you hope to be free of it?

To bring it all around, I get the impression that you have several areas where you need to gather strength:
1. Financial. Eliminate your debt and save up a cushion that will help you move out.
2. Habitual. You've apparently been taught to relieve suffering by buying. You need to do all you can (Google can help) to eliminate this and replace it with good habits that will help you out in the world.
3. Emotional. This is a gigantic kettle of fish and I can't give you any one piece of advice that will fix it all. One thing that comes to mind is to take the VIA Signature Strengths Test. It's very long, but eventually outputs a list of your 24 strengths and weaknesses. You can feel good about the strengths and pinpoint the weaknesses for improvement! It's like real-world stat-levelling!

There's one thing true for myself, and maybe it's true in your case, too: When you are happy, your anxiety will lessen. I know for a fact that when I'm content, my OCD isn't as severe, whereas when I'm in pain or terrified (as during a panic attack), it takes over. So remember that there's hope.

Edit: I want to echo what oceanwindsong posted while I was writing my post: You're already making your way down the path if you've identified these problems. Awareness is the first step, after all. And like she said, keep us posted.

-"FekketCantenel"

thank you for correcting my grammer/typos. I type really fast so I have no time to be perfect about it. Is that part of your OCD? just wondering.. I have to have a clean room and desk and everything all lined up but I was never diagnosed with OCD. I like to keep things clean and neat though for the most part.

I have started a savings account online and reading more into the snowballing that Leo suggests.

I used to have panic attacks in high school but haven't had one since, that was about 9 years ago.

Hi my friend..

One of the lessons i teach is that life is always going to be tough...its one challenge after another....its how we react to those challenges that dictates how we live our life...and you sure are having an extra tough time at the moment!! Dont hide from decisions that have to be made...they wont go away until you tackle them....

One of the first steps to getting back on the right track is to identitfy the core areas that are causing you problems..you've already done this.. depression, family tension and finances...
These obstacles (and they are obstacles because you can overcome them) are grinding you down to the point where you just want hide away...everything is just too much trouble and effort.

Now you know the problems, tackle them one by one.Dont try to hit them all head on at once...they'll just knock you down. I feel that the depression is partially triggered by the family tensions (you feel trapped) and by the financial situation ( you're working but just to pay off debts). The family tension is partially caused by finances as well because you dont have fuinds to move out. So i'd tackle the finances first. I would get rid of that new car. You said yourself that you dont really need it. With the funds from the car, try and reduce some debt..dont go out and blow it on shopping!!
When some of the debt has gone, try contacting the bank/credit card company and see if you can lower your monthly repayments...if they can see youre trying to repay the debt they may help.

Then when you've freed up some funds you might be able to move out to a place of youre own and give yourself some valuable personal space...then the skys the limit!!!

I hope some of this helps...keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. If you need more help, even just to talk just post...kind regards..

-"oceanwindsong"

I am already trying to tackle the debt and plan on looking into that more today. I cancelled unnecessary subscriptions and started an online savings account today. I have decided to start slower with my exercising every day even if I only do the 5 minutes and work my way up week to week. I hope to tackle things in baby steps. thanks for your responses.

Oh, I didn't correct your grammar/typos at all. Just noticed them. I did split your post into paragraphs, though. You seem to have mastered that yourself now. And don't make a new post to reply to each of us. You can put it all in one post.

What you have to understand about OCD is that it's not about neatness. That's a common misconception, that those with the disorder strive for cleanliness. But usually, if a sufferer has a clean environment, that's merely a symptom.

Look at the terms: Obsessive-compulsive disorder. I've actually thought about lobbying to change it to 'compulsion-obsessive disorder' (but COD also means 'Cash On Delivery', so there would be confusion ("I have COD." "Do I have to sign for it?")). When you have OCD, you are compelled to do things and then obsess about doing them. It's sort of like your brain says 'Hey. Do that. Stop what you're doing right now and DO THAT INSTEAD. Don't try to distract me! DO IT! Yes, that's it, now you're doing it. Now don't stop. DON'T STOP! BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN IF YOU FREAKING STOP! YOU ARE EVIL IF YOU STOP DOING THIS!'

My own OCD does translate into neatness sometimes (my bedroom is the cleanest and neatest room in this house). However, it also translates into idiotic things like making sure pencils are lined-up, not stepping on the lines between linoleum tiles, and having to make sure rooms are laid-out evenly. And, as I said, I notice that it intensifies when I'm already distressed.

Good to hear that you don't suffer from panic attacks anymore. Besides being painful and distressing, they're downright humiliating! I had one at a place where I worked, and lost the job a few days later (mostly for other reasons, but I'm confident the panic attack factored in).

Also good to hear that you're saving up some money. What bank are you using?

Hello

I too suffer from an anxiety disorder...well a few to be honest! I mainly suffer from health anxiety but I also suffer from Pure OCD and GAD which is mainly related to existentail angst.

I think you have highlighted the issue that is causing you problems quite early on in your post, you mention that you feel that your life is basically revolving around your boyfriend/work and home life. I too felt this way, well not boyfriend, but what became obvious to me is that if there is not enough going on in your life, you have a tendancy to become very self absorbed and in many withdrawn from the world...it is then easy to view the world as somehow seperate from you and you create a very strong self fullfiling prophecy in which you become a victim to your anxiety issues/disorder. Once the victim mantle is created and accepted it is very hard to move away from this.

I also had awful problems with spending money and got into a huge amount of debt...quite hard to admit as a guy! The thing is this is actually common and more and more people seem to be buying into the idea that spending money on consumer goods buys us our identity, self esteem and happiness. This is just the not case however but it can take a long time to actually realise the trap you are falling into. I have managed to reign in my spending habits but just like an alcoholic I wonder if I have ever truly beated it and if it is there still bubbling under the surface. The fact that I cannot get any more credit cards does sort of limit me anyway :o

As I'm sure you are aware, anxiety is basically all about fear and you become stuck in a loop of perpetual fear. I stronlgy believe that much os anxiety can be attributed to the mind/body connection and it is through undertsanding this that I have had the most success in dealing with my issues. Anxiety is and can only ever be thoughts but the confusing thing is that these thought can have very real emotional and physical end results....the reason for this is that our mind cannot actually tell the difference between our thoughts and reality on a base level, therefore an anxious thought will have the exact same underlying effect on our mind and also our body as if the event was real...this is the paradox and what makes anxiety disorders so powerful.

You mention councelling. I have had some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which was beneficial to a point and at least this also addressed the core issues of faulty thinking patterns that is so crucial. Anxiety is, I believe, a cry for help at the most basic level of our being....we are fearful of something and our mind and body are screaming at us that we are not on the correct life course, you may think you are but you cannot fool your inner being and if there is some unconcious inner turmoil then this must find a way out and I believe the manifestation of this is anxiety.

I'm sorry I cannot help you any further...I'm sure others are better placed to offer practical advice to you but ultimatly you need to address this on a far more fundamental level....in all likelyhood you know what this is and have known this for a while but have buried it away until you no longer recognise it, as you are seeing it always finds a way out of whatever inner prison you confine it to.

One book I would recommend is A New Earth by Eckhartt Tolle. The book is not specific to anxiety but a lot of what he talks about and suggests may strike some chords with you.

Good Luck.