jocelain's Blog

Did not get to bed at a good time, still before midnight, but my son was out LATE, and then convinced me he should sleepover at a friends, and, well, I didn't sleep well not having him home. He's almost as wild as I was as a teenager! Actually he's not even close, but I know what it's like now to wait up worrying. Sigh. So, anxious as I was, I also filled my face with peanut butter sandwiches before I did go upstairs to bed, so predictably had another restless night. Started back to work today (after 3 month break), so was probably a little nervous about that too.

Tonight: in bed by 10, even if I'm just reading (although I'm tired enough to sleep now).

Just had my peanut butter (9:30, so I've already messed that up), but that's all for tonight.

Have a telephone interview tomorrow morning, so need to be fresh for that.

Good night all

I'd like to start by going to Psalm 139, FekketCantenel's reference to part of my "mantra". Verse 12 says 'Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one'. This is from the New American Bible, St. Joseph Edition. We can elaborate beyond, or before this verse, whatever inspires you in this Psalm. I also particularly like verse 17: 'How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them! 18:Were I to count, they would outnumber the sands; to finish, I would need eternity.'

Makes me think of the passage Matt 9:30 But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.

Inspiration from Worship service tonight: God chooses us to serve him BECAUSE we are not perfect. We are "His lights to shine on the world".

All for now, tired and going home to bed.

Blessings, Jocelain

This is a good question. I just googled the two meanings, and the essence is that a motto is a succinct philosophy or idea you may live by, or your company may aspire to etc. (put into words), and a mantra frequently involves a word or phrase used with repetition to help one focus or meditate.

Hmmm

Monday morning will be better. Slept in till 10:30 and did not have a good sleep. Dog lying at the foot of the bed distracted me every time I rolled over. Not a good practice to sleep with a dog. Even if he only weighs 12 pounds.

I start work tomorrow, so good habits are important!

Must eat carefully today, and get to bed by 10:30.

No food after 8. None. Period.

I lifted the point about changing paragraphs from one of your previous posts, like how was church today? I loved the way you did it, and it's one of those things that helps keep me on track, organizing my thoughts. I hate emails that go on and on with all the news jammed into one long paragraph. No breath.

Let's see who else we get on board for this discussion, and how they feel about other sources. You're right in that it might end up diverging in to a book club if we use other material. Which could also be fun!

Yup, I think you totally have the right to delete someone out of bounds. That's your job!

Meanwhile, any thoughts and feedback on my first post?

Okay! Please show me how to create a "Quote" box as you just did. I tried to highlight, then hit quote, and it isn't that simple, right? Also, how to link passages to BibleGateway?

I like your idea of numbering the "studies"; great for reference later! Other Christian books? Og Mandino, C.S. Lewis, Nicky Gumbel (Alpha series), geez, I have DOZENS of amazing books with brilliant passages. Stories about Mother Theresa, Charles Colson. I'll prepare a list when I'm not supposed to be in bed!

Mission statement also a good idea: Be respectful, watch the sarcasm (easily misinterpreted with a large group - I learned this teaching adults). Listen. Wait a day or two if you're getting steamed. Proof read what you write to see if it could be read differently and misconstrued? Keep to the point, be succinct and concise. Change paragraphs when your idea graduates. Ask questions!

With my bible study group we read a passage together 3 times. In between we look a) for a word or phrase that resonates with us; second time b) a concept we can relate to some aspect of our personal life, and finally c) what we think Jesus/God is asking us to do in our lives right now. This fits beautifully with Leo's concept of self-improvement.

I suspect people who aren't interested in looking for meaning in whatever we choose to study, will be bored silly in no time. My experience is that this sort of thing usually works itself out. If you don't respond to bullying, it never hits the target.

And I agree about timing. Play it by ear. We can agree when we're done. If some of us aren't, maybe we break off and continue on another thread!

Hey, it's Sunday already! Can't wait for church! Have a feeling it's the evening service for me ... 12:33 am here now!

For those who were following or part of the previous thread "(split) Christians Talking Shop", the following will make sense. I did some research, and heard some wise words from our Illustrious Leader (not God - Leo), in which he suggests, from experience, that Religion is not a good topic to "discuss". I think probably politics fall into the same category. FUN to debate, until basic principles are at odds. He also expressed undying support of FekketCantenel's ability to discern the fine line between staying on topic, and spam, or even disrespectful antagonism. So, I'm throwing my faith on the side of "the benefit of the doubt", as he seems a wise man, and both he and she are much more experienced in the relatively new to me world of blogging and forums.

That said, I'm starting a new topic which will welcome metaphysical, spiritual and dynamic experiences and expressions of Christianity. I believe that The Book is more than up to the challenge of multiple interpretations. That those of us who seek meaningful translation because we have diverged from our original churches, or faith, will find comfort in its universal and infinite wisdom. And if you think it's all a pile of crap, you are welcome to respectfully tell us why! As they say, shit rises to the top! And I don't mean that in the derogatory way that we're all familiar with! Hmmmm, what other meaning could there be?

I'd like to start off with the idea of daily or weekly scripture meditations. In another thread, several of you expressed a wish for regular bible reading, devotionals and prayer. How would you feel about taking turns picking scriptures to discuss? Or if someone is reading an awesome book, with an inspirational passage, poem, etc: could we include it for interpretation?

I'd like to start by going to Psalm 139, FekketCantenel's reference to part of my "mantra". Verse 12 says 'Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one'. This is from the New American Bible, St. Joseph Edition. We can elaborate beyond, or before this verse, whatever inspires you in this Psalm. I also particularly like verse 17: 'How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them! 18:Were I to count, they would outnumber the sands; to finish, I would need eternity.'

Makes me think of the passage Matt 9:30 But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.

[Edit] I posted this earlier today under July challenges, obviously the wrong heading (sorry)..back in Religion, Spirituality and Philosophy where we should be!

Talk about cyclic! (not psychic) Did not get to bed on time, ate past 8pm (junk), had a lousy sleep, and woke up at 10:30! However, I'm a big believer in getting back on the horse. We're all allowed to screw up. In fact I think I could say I've made a lifetime practice of it!!

VeroSwing, missed you on the daily check-in in the last couple of days. Want to make sure you're still aboard, as your kind words went to heart. Wish I had a French keyboard for the accent egout (sp)! We do have one somewhere in the house.....

Today will be a challenge: we are out to a 25th wedding anniversary picnic, then have a pass for a new Keg opening up in town. We will be the guinea pigs, for only $5. Can I be good?!

Goals for Today: Bed by 11 (realistic)
Stop eating by 9:30 (dinner starts at 8:30)

Have a great Saturday all!

Remind me about the brisk walk in November! But you are so right. I grew up in North-western Quebec, about 500 miles north of Toronto, so I know COLD! My walk served me well today. Always feels good to take off your shoes and feel the sand on the beach, even when the water is very cold. It's my personal challenge to see how late into the fall I can do it before it's too painful. There's something therapeutic about bare feet and sand (or rocks).

I like the analogy of the dogs getting a "treat" for their good behaviour, training them that something they didn't like becomes fun with a reward! I'm finding with housework (which I hate) that if I focus on the end result (a nice place to come home to, for my son to have his friends in, to do work in, etc.) that it takes on a different feel.

I like your built-in break. I've started dragging my husband on evening dog walks so that he gets an enforced break. Unlike me he's a workaholic! There's something about all of this that tells me that our bodies/minds like cycles. And we need to get in sync with them! That's also part of why winter is so brutal I guess. It's such a change of routine, light, energy. I have two different SADS lights that I use every day from late September on in an effort to battle the blues.I used to have an employer who took a 2-hour nap every day after lunch. Your break is probably comparable in it's effect.

Another random thought (warned you) is that it's probably healthier to be working without all that electrical power tangled in around your feet. I just counted 6 monitors in my husbands' basement office. And there's at least 3 computers in there! Has to be hard to think big thoughts in a basement I suspect. Or maybe that's being unfair. I've rented a space outside the house to work in, up on a third floor with a huge window facing north. The office itself is only 103"x104", but it has high ceilings. Anyway, we all have to find our way around our own challenges.

I have a 2001 ford forcus ztw that I love!



8)

Amazing! As I was making my list (1. and 2.....I love making lists), I realized there was a big empty 3rd item missing! Following through with what I start! In fact I got further distracted and responded to another post in 'living the simple life' from "new around here", and mentioned exactly that! Thanks for the reminder!

Another point that drummingpariah made is how he schedules in outdoor time. For me it is hugely healing, and since I've actually managed to do not much else than talk to you guys today, I think I'll take the dogs for a walk right now! Let's talk later. I've enjoyed your other posts too.

Welcome! I'm relatively new to ZenHabits myself, and appreciate you sharing your big change. Today my biggest challenge in getting work done is this damn website :P :lol: So many of us work alone and I know I need to keep on task! but I'm also at a crossroads in my life, and trying to figure out good strategies for the above. What I like about your post is that you have forced a routine on yourself. That is what I am so desperately in need of. I start out the day with good intentions, good energy, and the next thing I know I'm cheating, because I'm only accountable to me! So in order to follow-through with my good intentions, I"ll keep this short(ish).

The other thing that strikes me as so positive about your solution is being outdoors. I've found the fact that I need to walk my 2 dogs twice a day helps me keep sane! Once out there in the fresh air, down by the lake usually, all challenges seem manageable, step by step. Even way up here in Canada, the few months of green and lawn chair weather are a tonic that I try to commit to memory for the cold dark days from October to March.

Gotta go!

I have the same problem. At first I thought it was my families' fault: they're very messy. Then I attempted the "feng shui" approach, rearranged the furniture, baking soda, etc. I had a psychic in hoping he'd tell me there were lost souls from the underground tunnel system in the back yard. The park behind me used to be a psychiatric hospital. You know what the problem is? ME!

I'm an escapist. I love travelling because of the perspective it gives me. I can think, write, read and talk to my heart's content. Same think with being a student. When I'm taking a course, I can totally focus on that project, assignment, book, and I'm organized! Now please don't read this wrong. Learning and travel are both high on my list of self-growth. But here's what I've discovered about myself: The two hardest things for me to do are:

1. Get Started
2. Break it down into small parts

Attack one little thing at a time, and forget about how much is ahead of you. If you're like me, by the time I've documented everything I need to do, I need to have a nap. And I did learn when I was a full-time student, when I would go into panic mode imagining myself not meeting a deadline, that to ask myself "what's the worse that can happen" was an excellent reality check.

I struggle with depression, and also find that some of my demons want me to fail! They don't think I'm good enough. Just recognizing that you need a strategy is an amazing first step. You can do it!

Today is a great day! Anseris, are you really putting 12 ingredients in every day?! I made a salad for lunch yesterday and was thinking of you. Refreshing is a great word for a weekend. More vegetables on my shopping list today, thanks to you!

I did very well yesterday and today. In bed before 11 (not quite early enough, but better than the night before). Had a great sleep (just a banana after 8; supper was around 7), and woke up about 7:30am feeling refreshed!

Goal for today is to do:
housework/organizing/laundry/decluttering until noon, then
mosey on over to the office and get some work done. Didn't get there yesterday.

Whoa, you're brutal! :P :P I'm going to drop off this thread because it's lost it's camaraderie, and becoming WAY too personal! Ouch!

I didn't say listening to people discuss the bible gives me headaches NOW. At that point in my life I would have simply walked away. There are reasons for sermons or bible studies being an hour long for us "plebes". I'm having no problem enjoying it immensely at present, both on my own, in the company of the Holy Spirit, and once or twice a week in the company of 2 or more gathered in the name of God.

How Vero's cautious joining in could be labelled counterproductive and offensive is totally beyond me. This (original) thread is about Religion, spirituality and philosophy. Where's the open door? And ZenHippie is entitled totally to join in, without you trying to boot them off to another site. And you're a moderator?

Amen

Oops! Thanks for the clarification regarding Illuminatus!, FekketCantenel. No wonder I couldn't find the right thing when I googled it. I'd like to add a caution here, that your emotional reactions (eyes rolling, etc) may be counter-productive to a real discussion. At the same time, I appreciate your passion for the subject!

VeroSwing, thanks for joining in! Symbolism is such a fascinating subject, going back to Egyptian and Greek, Viking etc. mythology. I love your reference to parables. Jesus said he used these stories because "seeing, they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand". (Matt.13:13) They were also a tool to project from the old testament the profecies (typo) of the new testament. I'm focusing on Matthew right now, and really enjoying it.

Just a reminder that I use the term numerology very loosely; just looked for my reference to that in our discussion, and maybe I didn't clarify that. The word itself does seem to hit a nerve, so maybe we should steer away from it! As an opportunist, I can't resist pointing out a good example of the power of language! :)

No magic in 2+3 (23) being the same number as 5. Just a formula as old as the hills. All numbers digits reduce to a number between 1 and 9. There's much more to it mathematically speaking, but I'll leave you alone with this "same typical stuff" before your headache develops into a migraine! Interestingly, I used to feel the same way listening to people discuss the Bible... deep breath... 'men' have been challenging each other on the meaning of life for a long time.

Well, I managed to botch the bedtime, as could be predicted by my 10:20 exit from my office! However, in bed by midnight. Difficulty sleeping and getting up early. Didn't get out of bed till 10 am. So this is proof to me that my nutritionist was right: our bodies have a rhythm. Once I'm awake past 10:30, or at least not in get to bed mode, I will stay awake likely until almost 1am. This was what was playing havoc with my evening shifts. However, I did only have an apple to munch when I came home. Read the paper on the back deck. No wonder I couldn't sleep!

Very late start today, but I'm not going to let it get to me. Focusing on BENEFITS, I will do some more organizing at home, declutter, and move some more stuff to my office. I have a project I need to start drawing on AutoCad. Must devote some time to that, not just setting up my office.

FG and Androo, you deserve mega kudos for checking in every day. Even when we're not doing "great" as we would like, we are holding ourselves accountable, and that is for me a first!! Sharing our small successes inspires each of us. This forum is giving me some structure that I badly need. On the other hand, I've been getting a little sidetracked by some of the other forums, and spending too much time which is not really moving me forward! Here is what struck me in your posts about time

"cant wait to get through the rest of the day [^-^]

limit the extracurricular stuff and get more work done.

if I don't get up as soon as the alarm goes off then all of my goals tend to go down the toilet

time is moving and won't wait on me."

Anseris, thanks for the encouragement!

I hear you both. And I'm not "counting" as I read the Bible. My point is that there are many dimensions to all goodness. And many sources and interpretations of wisdom. We could equally be having this discussion on the I Ching (Chinese Book of Changes), Bhagavad Gita, Dead Sea Scrolls, Qu'ran, etc. Not being interested in another perspective doesn't mean it is to be discounted. Or silly. The Bible is an amazing book, with many, many layers. As I'm sure you have both experienced, repeated readings of a same passage reveal new truths. Or relevance. As such, I believe we are "designed" to dig deeper and broader. As you say, the sum of the parts is greater than the individual "trees".

Thanks so much for sharing your perspectives! I continue to soak up the wisdom of the Bible. Not counting words, just interested in the significance of numbers in the bible, ie how often days are numbered (ie, Jesus was in the dessert for 40 days and 40 nights), the crowd numbered 4000, and was fed with 7 loaves of bread, or 5,000 and fed with 4 loaves of bread, etc. (may not be accurate here, just out of my head) More often specific than general. In terms of ages of people, quantities, etc. Jonah being 3 days in the whale predicting Jesus' 3 days in the tomb. Anyway, no worries, we all have our different insights, and travel the same path.

Thanks for the lead on the Illuminata!

Okeydoke. After realizing I was avoiding tasks at home for all the right reasons (I hate them), and turning it around so that I could visualize the BENEFITS for myself, I had a super productive day. The only problem is that it is 10:11 pm and I am still working at my office. Should be heading home and to bed! I managed 4 carloads of books and binders to my office, and have accomplished more in the last 12 hours than the rest of the month! Yeah! Home to bed...

Goals for July:

No eating after 8 (done...I'll stay away from the kitchen when I get home)
To bed by 10:30 almost there, work close to home. Hopefully no distractions. Won't turn on my laptop when I get home.
Do one household task every day: Tackled my home office and shipped tons of stuff out.

Hi again,

I'm sure there are those out there who know more about the origins of the Kabbalah than I do, so feel free to correct my freshman beginning translation. Originally, the Kabbalah was written in the Judaic alphabet, which is quite complicated. One of the key concepts is that there is a strong relationship between letters and numbers. Apparently the "highers up" in the Jewish faith were aware of the power of the connection, and even at one time were responsible for naming children. Language as a whole is very powerful, and represents the superiority of man's ability to communicate conceptually with each other. Some also believe that the date you were born, based on the numbers they represent, helps to determine your potential and purpose in life. Nomenology probably covers this topic better than the popular numerology descriptions.

The essential principle of the Kabalarian Society (which is not Judaic in and of itself) is that numbers, letters, mind, language and reason are inextricably connected. If you google Kabalarian Society, you will find references to cult aspects which were a result of media coverage of a scandal back in the '90's. It's a real scandal, the perpetrator served his sentence, but insiders claim it was a set up by disgruntled competition for leadership within the group. I am studying their philosophy, and have been for a couple of years now. It draws on many historical references, including bible passages, but the founder had studied eastern religions and judaism as well. He was also a skeptic of so-called psychics, and joins Houdini in having exposed many societal scams. His name was Alfred Parker.

I'm sure the combination of 2plus3 equalling 5 didn't elude you. This influence has helped me to jump from project to project, job to job, man to man, always looking for greener grass on the other side! I read a great Christian book called The Walkout Woman, which perfectly describes me until I became aware of some of the negative energy of this number. On the positive side, it's enthusiasm, adventurous and frequently positive in perspective. There's much more to it, and the more I learn, the more I realize I want to keep going! Obviously in my bible study group I'm a bit of an anomaly. But our minister is of Jewish descent, and converted to Christianity, so has a very deep perspective on the subject. Sometimes she just laughs at me!

I googled Illuminata and just got this interesting sculpture. Ha ha. So now I know, I'll check out the book.

I also do not like the term numerology, but most people have no idea what I'm talking about if I refer to Kabalarian Philosophy. Yes, I'm a philosophy nut, just love any books in particular that draw connections between (apparently) different ideologies or fields of study. Art and science, math and music, etc. My recent interest in Christianity is based on some metaphysical experiences in the past 5 years, seemingly inspired by my father-in-law passing away, my mother being on life support for 3 days (and returning to us!) and my then 9-year-old son declaring he was a Christian even though my husband and I were totally uninvolved, and very skeptical, of any church. What I've realized is that it isn't Christianity (or any other faith for that matter) per se that's the fault of so many wars, poverty, and guilt-ridden dogmas, but "the people", or man, that choose to interpret to his political, financial, power driven advantage.

My mother grew up in downtown Toronto raised by a south of Ireland Roman Catholic mother, and her grandfather on her father's side founded a religion in Scotland based on reincarnation and vegetarianism. It is still active today, called The Order of the Cross. It's quite rigid on the vegetarian aspect. My mother's family was very poor, yet my grandfather would still have shoes made from canvas in order not to violate the rules. So I come by my eclectic beliefs, if you can call them that, quite naturally. I have discovered in the last few years a direct connection between numbers and language based on a beginner's study of the Kabbalah. This is not the stuff of Madonna calibre, although I'm not sure exactly what that's all about, so I probably shouldn't say that.

I'm interested in your experience with the number 23, as I was born on the 23rd of March, and hardly ever meet anyone with the same birth DAY. I believe the various translations of the Bible are pretty consistent with numbers. Original manuscripts would be beyond my English or French vocabulary! I'll have to check out the Illuminatus! trilogy, and The Ring, so I know what your references are. I absolutely love your abbreviated mantra, and will add it to mine. Thanks for starting this new thread; I look forward to more posts!

Oh my, thanks so much for the background! There are Anglican churches in Canada for sure, but I attend the United Church of Canada, which is much more, hmmmm... let's say liberal. My cousin in Minnesota really wishes there was a United Church in the U.S.!

You got me curious about the history of the Anglican Church in Canada. Apparently it goes back to the early 1700's, and you can check their history on the website www.2anglican.ca. Are you a student of theology? I love all references to light and especially numbers in the bible, and am doing an amateur study on the relationship of numerology in the Bible.

Can I ask you about Samara in your bedroom at night?

Well, promised myself I'd keep on with the work today. Done some housework, and now I'm off to my office with a load of books, and intentions to work. Been following your discussions on diversions as a free-lancer. I've talked myself through a LOT today!

Simple concept bigdaddysheikh, but brilliant! I am going to reword my housework to do list to emphasize the benefit for myself! I hate housework, but it will unclog my brain when I get started on it. Here I go, getting started! Thanks for the motivation!

Jocelain

This is a verse that my minister uses sometimes as a benediction. She's never been able to find it for me in the bible, but I find it a wonderful comfort when I'm feeling lost.

"To God the darkness is as the light. Put your hand in the hand of the Lord, and you will feel yourself on a path well known. And you will have all the light that you need."

Another prayer I just love that a friend gave to me as a non-denominational "grace" to say before eating:

"God of power and might, give bread to those who are hungry, and hunger for justice to those who have bread."

Hmm... got distracted on my laptop here again last night, after PROMISING myself to get to bed by 10:30. These forums are too interesting! I seem to be spending inordinate amounts of time reading and writing and thinking about changing my life, and not acting on it!

Still, was in bed around 11. Need to go MUCH earlier if I'm going to avoid the junk food my husband and teenager have stockpiled. When I'm working in the kitchen I can't seem to stay away from it. Today I really had difficulty getting out of bed, but managed by 9:30.

My problem is that I've chosen to take some time off work to accomplish things around my home, set up an outside office (which I've done), and help my parents out of town move to nursing home care. They are at a standstill, my beautiful little office sits and awaits my regular attendance, and the housework is still not getting done! I need to establish a routine. SOOO, do I simplify my goals, ie go back to JUST trying to get to bed by 10pm? Or do I bring in the big guns of organization, and have mega lists all over the place to get done what I need to? I am really struggling with motivation.

Just re-read my post. "Working in the kitchen" means on my laptop on the kitchen table. Maybe that's the problem. Today I am going to tidy up my mini office beside the kitty litter (yuch), and park my laptop there. Maybe set the table up in the kitchen for eating, so I can't "work" there. All in all this might get me out to my office. But how to schedule housework?

"the best thing about the notebook is that jotting down a note on paper is nearly instantaneous, whereas it's harder to take notes in an electronic medium when ideas bubble up in your brain while you're doing other things."

Ozymandias, you made me think of something related, and someone else mentioned this earlier in reference to this same topic. I'm a designer, and work mostly in CADD programs now, but when I need to process an idea, or work out a 3-dimensional concept, or play with a plan, I'm most comfortable doing that with pencil and paper. I think the tactile aspect of holding a pen/pencil, and directly transferring our thoughts/ideas onto paper is closer to our left brain processing. A computer places a fairly "logical" (typing) tool between the brain and process. I'm sure this can be overcome, but when I need to "think" artistically, or even recall images, I always draw.

Hope I didn't mix the 2 sides up (left/right). I'm sure someone will correct me if I did!